Seashells, Violets and Lace Gloves
by The Druid Is In
Summary: With no optioin to come out, fearing the reactions of the Death Eater society she has found herself trapped inside of out of social pressures/little choice, closeted trans woman Severus Snape meets a duo at an underground queer party scene. With tensions mounting, and her survival threatened from all from all sides, what will Severus do when confronted with a new and unique love?
1. Chapter 1

Seashells, Violets and Lace Gloves

By flower-in-the-ashes

Summary for Seashells, Violets, and Lace Gloves:

 _With no opportunities to come out in everyday life, and fearing the reactions of the Death Eater society she has found herself trapped inside of out of pure pressure and little choice, closeted demisexual trans woman Severus Snape meets two people at an underground queer party scene and finds her life changing in unexpected ways. With tensions mounting, and her survival threatened from all sides, what will Severus do when confronted with a new and unique love?_

 _Set when Severus is a budding Death Eater at age 18, forced into the life via a need for survival and social pressures from peers like Lucius Malfoy._

A/N: TW misgendering in the end

* * *

 **Chapter One: An Unsatisfied Soul**

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her./Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long./Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido  
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms/Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,  
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her./mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido

-Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair/Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada,

poema #20,

"Tonight I Can Write"/Puedo escribir esta noche

* * *

Severus Snape didn't know why she kept the tiny photographs in the decrepit old locket. Like so many nights, she had taken it out of its special box, cleaned the chain, and removed the contents from inside each section. She gently smoothed the creases to see the entire image;

 _It depicted one of the sunny summer weeks before Hogwarts in which Lily went to her grandmother's. She had invited Severus, and the two of them, as well as her grandmother and her grandmother's old, spotty cat, Marmalade, all sat grinning in the garden, tending to the tomato plants at that particular moment. All the humans wore green gloves, floppy sun hats, and tan outdoors aprons, kneeling on knee pads and holding their own tools. Severus and Lily both wore flowered sundresses. Ever since Lily told her Nana that Severus had no dresses, her Nana, protesting that all girls should have at least one dress, even poor ones, started buying them matching outfits. The ever kindly woman had taken one look at Severus and known, and from then on she had been endeared to the little girl. The shiny rubber gardening shoes and trowels shone in the sunlight as the three laughed and Marmalade yowled happily. Severus had adored the weeks Lily spent with her grandmother. More than being allowed to go, her father barely noticed she had gone, and her mother quietly encouraged it. Those weeks represented the only times she remained well fed, bathed, and clothed by people who actually cared what happened to her besides her mother. But with the end of her friendship two and a half years ago, those sunny days turned into far away echoes that reminded her of what she had lost in fifth year..._

Tears threatened to fall but she fought them. The locket had belonged to her mother, her last parting gift to her before she had left her identity to become someone else, someone free from Tobias Snape's reach. She made sure that she left a small deposit for her daughter in a bank account each month, spared from her wages, just in case Severus needed the extra money. Normally her pride wouldn't let Severus accept it, but being poor, and not wanting to live with Tobias, had made her realize that pride did not always allow the realization of ambitions. Even so, she had to choose between less than classy parts of London and her classless dump of a childhood home where her drunk, ill-tempered and lonely father still resided. Why couldn't he just die already and leave them in peace? Of course her choice of residence presented its own risk, but at least no one knew her all that well. She could ignore them quietly, and they her.

She fingered the other photograph, this one a still picture, unlike the other. She had declined enchanting the copy of this picture. It showed a view of one of Lily's birthday parties. Severus had never had any until she met Lily, and even then, none had been hosted by her own parents. Her father would not allow it. Lily's kindly Nana had, once again, hosted a few over the years. All small and nondescript, but appreciated nonetheless. Lily, in a soft lily-yellow, had a flowery bow in her hair, head bowed over a present as she tore into the wrapping paper. Severus could see herself in the background, eyes glowing, in a blue dress of the same design (yellow would have made her look far too washed out anyway, and even more sickly). Marmalade hunched underneath the coffee table, and Nana sat off to the side carefully cutting equal pieces for her girls.

Severus couldn't help but smile. She didn't offer many genuine smiles those days, but looking back at her few happy memories always lifted her spirits. The thought of meeting the Dark Lord's Death Eaters loomed ominously in the future. After her descent from the platform at graduation, Lucius Malfoy had appeared out of nowhere to whisper in her ear. _Your spot is secure._ He had vanished almost as quickly, not even congratulating her. He, like most people, didn't even know of her transness, her femaleness. She didn't particularly feel like indulging it to any other Death Eaters, either. She would have to hide, and hide well, even better than she had when she went to Hogwarts.

She put the pictures back into the locket, brushed herself off, and set aside her preparations for the night. She needed to feed Marmalade's grandchildren, Fiddlesticks and Coriander. They were her last living tie to Lily besides the woman herself, after Nana died six months ago and Lily stopped talking to her, and outside of her mother, probably the only creatures that loved her. They suited her, especially when she didn't want children of her own. She had to stop to give both sets of perked ears a scritch, had to ensure all entrances as being secure. She checked the Floo, to make sure no one could use it, and last of all, reread the location of the party she planned to attend that evening. Grateful that Lucius had turned to his own affairs, due to his wife's pregnancy, Severus didn't have to worry about her first summons of her soon-to-be initiation. She could put that to the back of her mind for a couple of days at least.

* * *

She laced up her boots, sitting on a couch that had seen better days. High heeled to the point of being weapons themselves, they continued up her calf, covering sheathed daggers. Her boots, like the heavy fabric of her clothes, made the night envious in their blackness. Her empire waist, gothic-but-not-tacky gowns cascaded out and away from her body. Another set of small knives hid up her lace-edged bell sleeves with her wand; she'd be damned before someone caught her off guard. She had curled and pineappled her hair, putting an absurd but necessary amount of product on her already greasy, bone straight hair to hold the style. High lace collars typically replaced her high-necked, near-strangling, loathed men's clothing she donned as Severus Snape the man, and this night offered no exception. Anything to hide that Adam's-apple male puberty cursed her with, and a lace-filled bodice to hide what male puberty couldn't give her. Fishnet stockings, lace gloves, a practice application of lipstick labeled "rebel rose", and a subtle hint of eyeliner that made her eyes pop and stand out as more fearsome than before accentuated her look. Not prim or proper, and certainly not pretty, but undeniably vivid and elegant in her own right. She tucked a purple hand fan and two condoms into her clutch when she stood, just in case, took a glance around the tiny room one last time, downed an anti-STI potion by the door, and locked up the place. Turning, she checked the dark open walkway around her. With a scowl she applied a disillusionment charm from the shadows just in case moments before apparating away. She didn't want to waste one moment of her precious few hours of openly being a woman.

* * *

Severus Snape walked briskly down the alleyway, the music in the distance just reaching her ears. The bass beat against her bones and her back straightened. She had to be especially careful actually getting to her location. She wasn't familiar with the neighborhood, and thus didn't know all of the dangers it might hold. Trans women were especially prone to experiencing violence from others, especially cisgender straight men who felt threatened by their existence. Her heels clicked against the pavement, announcing each step along the way. Her suspicious gaze darted about nervously, eyeing every long shadow. She nearly drew her wand but only just refrained from doing so. Her normal hyper-vigilance added onto her uncertainty about her surroundings did nothing to ease her mind. She paused, confused about which turn to take, when someone cleared their throat from a doorway ahead.

"Ma'am-" someone started to say perkily to her. Severus jumped and whipped out both her wand and a curved knife to be met with hands raised in surrender.

" _Don't_ ," Snape snarled, " _surprise me!"_

The person gulped audibly. "I just wanted to say," he said with a bit of a Spanish accent, "that I'm one of the guides out in the streets helping people along to the party. See?"

He held up an ID badge with the signature of the host ensribed on it. It also had a tiny, barely noticeable mark in the corner that meant it could be tested magically, which meant this man wasn't a muggle. Severus touched her wand tip to it and the badge glowed briefly. Her eyes narrowed.

"All right. But stay in front where I can see you. I will not hesitate to-"

But the man was frantically waving his hands at about shoulder height as if to scatter the idea. "No harm is to come to the honored guests of Señor Jasper and _Don_ Casimiro."

Still, shoulders tense, Severus remained cautious as she proceeded to follow her guide. She kept a measured distance between them-close enough that she would be near if he needed to protect her, and far enough away if he betrayed her to give her some warning and an advantage. They crept along and gradually came into more lighted and much less sketchy surroundings. The music grew more omnipresent, increasing in volume. "Did you say _Don Casimiro?"_ Severus inquired. "That is an esteemed title, one of respect. The host of this party...is he from one of the Old Families?"

Her guide had to understand her implications. She wanted to know if she was about to arrive on the doorstep of a respectable pureblood's party, and by extension, if her appearance would make its way to Lucius Malfoy's ears. Far worse than being barred from the Death Eaters, if discovered, she might even be personally murdered by them. No one in their ranks or associated with them could show signs of weakness, and she knew deep in her heart that they would see her existence as a particularly concentrated form. They would see her transness as something to exploit. The transgender population had lived as one, sometimes two, distinct genders, sometimes accepted and sometimes not depending on popular opinion and those in power within the Pureblood Court. Either way, with Voldemort presiding over some major members of the Court, she would be worse than a blood-traitor and marked for extermination. There existed a third and fourth gender, one androgynous and a third gender so to speak, neither male nor female, but they did not receive the disdain she would.

"Oh, yes, one of the oldest," her guide replied. "One out of Spain. Have you ever heard of _Don_ Antonio Fernández Carriedo?" The guide didn't provide time for a reply, "he is _Don_ Casimiro's father," he continued without being prompted. "They are one of the oldest families, older than many of the sacred twenty-eight of Britain." _This is the end_ , Severus thought. _This is how I die. Tar-and-feathered for going to a party._ Tobias would die of laughter over her fate.

"The invitation did not include this information," Severus rejoined calmly, smothering her rampant panic at the latest a developments. "I was also under the assumption that some muggles and squibs would be present." What respectable Ancient and Noble House invited muggles and squibs to their parties?

"Oh yes," the guide replied, "they shall. Not many of the muggles know what we truly are, but some do. Many consist of the social circle of Señor Jasper, who is a half-blood, so many half and mixed bloods, as well as muggleborns, will be there. He has a close circle of friends and is a very charming and endearing type, and _Don_ Casimiro is very compassionate and kind. Oye, señora, they are made for each other, even if other purebloods disagree. Es, ¿cómo se dice? _El amor es ciego, pero los vecinos no_. Porque Señor Jasper and _Don_ Casimiro are married." Severus stopped short. She knew she had been going to a gathering of mostly queer people, but it surprised her that someone from a family that basically came from what amounted to royalty in their world would marry someone of the same gender, or a half-blood, but at the same time? It could be risky for old families without making arrangements for the couple to conceive. They would have to acquire someone else to carry a child for the men. Every pureblood family had to have an heir, whether male or female, though of course male children were slightly favored, if for no reason except to buoy a man's ego. While a mixed-blood child might be accepted, the queer pairing would be more likely to be questioned than the blood status in some circles purely for the danger of jeopardizing the chance of an heir.

Severus started up again, catching up with the guide in a few quick strides.

"If I may," Severus said cautiously, "I don't mean to offer inappropriate sentiments for the occasion, but...what shall the two do about an heir?"

"Ah!" The guide bounced happily. "You shall have to ask Señor Jasper or _Don_ Casimiro yourself!"

Five minutes more and they had arrived. The guide held the door open for her, and Severus stepped inside.

* * *

"Thank you, Narcissa," Lucius murmurs, accepting the cup of steaming tea. Narcissa smiles warmly, but it passes quickly, replaced briefly by fear and then by a smooth mask of calm

"Do you know when he will arrive, Lucius?" she whispers, pushing some of her long, blonde hair out of her face. Her other hand goes to her belly, where she has just started showing.

"Any time now, dear. You really have nothing to worry about. He does not expect you to stay for the meeting. He has business to discuss with me. However, he may want to see you now that you are showing."

Narcissa swallowed and nodded, only faintly reassured. She turned and straightened a doily on the mantle of the fireplace to hide her nervousness despite having done nothing wrong. She feared the Dark Lord that Lucius followed so ardently, and did not dare speak out for fear that she would suffer terrible consequences. Her dear, sweet, sister Andromeda, whom she had not been allowed to speak to in years, had been disowned and exiled from the family after marrying the muggleborn and having his child. She had been her favorite sister by far. Secretly, she wrote her letters, sometimes sending them and sometimes not, but soon she would have to stop, for it would be far too dangerous for the both of them and their children. If only their children would be allowed to play together. Maybe then their family could heal. But Bellatrix would never allow it.

At that moment, a house elf arrived, trembling to tell them that their honored guest had arrived. Narcissus steeled her nerves enough to turn to the door by the time the footsteps stopped in front of it. She straightened her back and offered a polite smile in greeting, meeting the inhuman, almost beastly eyes in a grotesque face. The man smiled, and it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. He held out his scaly hands for her, and trying not to cringe, she stepped forward and allowed him to kiss her knuckles. His lips on her skin felt like death passing over her, and the contact made the thing in her womb somersault. _Draco_ she reminded herself to give herself courage.

"Why Narcissa," Lord Voldemort cooed in a low hiss, "how lovely to see you my dear, and you positively _glow_."

"Thank you, my lord," she acknowledged courteously, "I am glad that it pleases you so."

"Oh yes," he nodded, smiling hugely. "My followers bringing Pureblood children into the world always pleases me immensely. Lucius cares appropriately for you, no?"

Narcissa paused, not because she had been mistreated, but because he surprised her. She knew, somewhere in her mind, that he only cared about the fresh, pure blood that flowed through her veins and the new generation of Pureblood children that she would be helping usher into the world. But she never realized how much power that gave her over Lucius. He could be tortured or even killed for jeopardizing their lord's dream of a pure magical world. She realized this all within a half of a second, not long enough yet to make Voldemort draw his wand on her husband, but long enough for Lucius to get nervous.

"He does, my lord," she answered graciously with an even more gracious smile, putting up mental shields and keeping in mind what sort of words she needed to feed Voldemort, who underestimated her power and intelligence. "I was only momentarily amazed at the care you show for your people. Your continuing kindness toward us only makes me know that our faith in you is not in vain."

Voldemort pulled his thin lips into a pleased smirk, a shift that made it look like a thin sheet of paper had been pulled over a skull, and looked to Lucius, making a sweeping gesture at Narcissa. "See, Lucius, how well cultured and educated your wife is? She is truly a credit to your family name. She will raise your son well."

Narcissa would have sighed in relief had Voldemort not still been there. In another minute or so of polite conversation he had excused her, and she was ashamed to say that she wanted to run away from him despite her Occulmency skills. What had she gotten into marrying Lucius Malfoy?

* * *

"Ah, Lucius," Voldemort breathed. "Now that I have seen the progress of your family, I must state my other business with you, though you know it."

Lucius waited patiently for his lord to finish before responding, before even nodding. "Yes, my lord, I have acquired the support of Severus Snape. His services will be invaluable. I have never seen anyone brew potions the way he does. He can supply us with many different types of restoratives and the like, draughts that give healing, strength, stealth, and endurance to those who consume them."

"Very well," Lord Voldemort said agreeably, as he had had quite a good day, "he shall receive his mark shortly, as planned. Perhaps at the next full moon?" Lucius knew not to contradict his lord despite never being a victim to his wrath. He had seen what happened to others who spoke out of turn. The Dark Lord's followers learned to respect and fear him very quickly. Lucius gave the default, empty, meaningless assenting vote and received permission to take the news to Severus himself rather than through someone else.

 _Dearest Severus:_

 _Come to the manner tomorrow night. I have important news to deliver._

 _-Lucius_

* * *

A/N: The story begins just before Lily's death, something that happens very near the beginning. In the story, Severus Snape is a demisexual transgender woman, and Aurora Sinistra, who is canonically black, is bisexual. Katia, my OC, is called "an Alternate"; a gender that corresponds to the real-world category of "non-binary" in Western societies and the third gender of many others. I use ey/em/eir/emself pronouns for em. I am simply a genderqueer trans person who wanted to see more trans people (specifically trans people of color and trans women) in fiction, whether or not it is fanfiction.


	2. Chapter 2

Seashells, Violets and Lace Gloves

By flower-in-the-ashes

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Emergence from the Night**

The memory of you emerges from the night around me/Emerge tu recuerdo de la noche en que estoy.  
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea./El río anuda al mar su lamento obstinado.

-Pablo Neruda, The Song of Despair/Una canción desesperada

* * *

At first ey doesn't see her. But then ey do and ey can't take eir eyes off of her. Ey found her stunning. Not particularly gorgeous by many standards, but an imposing, striking figure emerging into the main room of Jasper's party at the abandoned warehouse by the wharf, long legs undulating with movement that made her leather boots shine strange colors under the trip lights. Her pineappled curls spilled down about her face, barely hiding sallow cheeks. Katia sucked in a breath and eyed the lace trimmings with admiration. Who could wear so much lace and frill without coming off as an expensive hooker except this woman whose heels clicked above the faint beat of the music starting up across the room. It began to boom from the speakers and soon ey lost the sound, but eir pulse seemed to beat with it. How could someone no one could ever call sexy or beautiful be so alluring? Suddenly Katia felt glad that ey had allowed Rory to drag em here.

When he had advertised what basically amounted to being a rave with fancy alcohol and even fancier attire, Katia had been skeptical that ey would even really want to attend eir friend's party. But, he'd insisted, anyone queer within a two-hundred mile radius might come and ey could meet good people there, because in his opinion ey needed to get out more, and he had a wide-ranging circle of friends and acquaintances. He only had to slip Rory the invite to make her come, as she didn't need as much persuading. The attendees seemed likely to be queer witches, wizards, and wixen who took refuge together, some closeted; half-bloods, mixed-bloods, actual muggles, squibs, and those with too little magic to amount to much. All would be acquainted directly with Jasper, who himself was a queer half-blood. The other part of his identity, the fact that he had come out as being transgender and gay, might not endear him to any of those snot-nosed pureblood traditionalists from the _wrong_ families (in eir opinion), but it certainly gave his intersecting communities, that of magical and muggle outcasts and the marginalized, someone charismatic to orbit around and a safe space to be their authentic selves. Katia adored the spritely man that made eir brother so sickeningly happy. He offered a refuge to those who could not otherwise ever be themselves. He was by far the most known activist of their time, at least by name, always pushing for full acceptance, and his tiny form did not do his large, fiery personality justice.

Katia shook eir head to scatter the daze that had settled over em and in doing so lost sight of the woman all draped in black, whose flashing eyes and curved nose had been turning this way and that to observe the partygoers. Katia sighed, a little disappointed. Ey would have liked to talk to her about that look. Anyone who could pull off such a fierce look without an ounce of traditional beauty trademark characteristics had to be someone worth talking to, and the ballsy choice of shade for her red lips had set something off in Katia's mind. Eir own lipstick felt like cheap lip-gloss in comparison, and the darting movements intrigued em.

Ey turned and almost ran into Aurora "Rory" Sinistra, eir current girlfriend. Aurora's pretty, soft, beauty-pageant features contrasted so starkly with the harsh, striking features of the stranger that Katia did a double-take despite recognizing her. The sallow yellow-brown of the other woman's skin also contrasted with Aurora's flush ebony flesh, and even, Katia realized, eir own more subtle golden hue. Ey blinked rapidly to clear eir vision of the last traces of the stranger ey had seen and grinned. "Did you see her, Rory?" Aurora would have to have been blind or high already not to notice the intense, unknown woman, but Katia asked anyway, breathless. Aurora grinned, exposing her milky, straight teeth and parting pretty pink lips.

"The woman in black that looks like some kinky school mistress fantasy?" Aurora beamed. "Absolutely. Can't say she'll win any nominations for being the belle of the ball, but she's got something to her, doesn't she?"

"Something," Katia agreed. "Want to go see who can find her first?"

Aurora snickered. "Why, so you can steal her clothes?"

Katia glared at eir companion and glanced down at eir own attire. "Why, what's wrong with my outfit?"

"Well, for starters, for a queer person you had poor taste in donning that mess. You look like you couldn't decide if you were going to a hoedown or not."

"I do not!" Katia spluttered, reddening like a human-shaped strawberry.

"I just mean," Aurora placated, "that it's that level of casual, not that you look like a country bumpkin."

Katia relaxed a bit but still bristled. "I didn't know if I felt female enough tonight when I got dressed, or even very feminine at all, so I...compromised." Ey saw Aurora's eyes soften a bit in understanding

"Sometimes I forget," she murmured, "you're so femme so much of the time…"

Katia bit eir lip but put the issue aside to say, "So, can we go find her or what?"

The two decided to fan out in opposite directions to move across the room in hopes of at least one of them finding their target. Katia didn't really know what ey intended to do when, or even if, ey found the woman. Ey just knew ey had to talk to her, to _something_ , and apparently Aurora felt enough of the same way to traipse across the open floor areas and wade through the bodies streaming into the building to help em. Maybe she just loved Katia that much to humor eir most eccentric notions. Either way, with Rory helping, ey had a better chance of-

Crash. A wildly flailing, badly dancing body barreled into em as someone already on their way to not knowing their own name fell into em, knocking em into someone else nearby. Swearing ensued. The floor rushing up to meet em and someone catching em at the last second in a lacy, gloved, firm hold that wouldn't let em break eir ass on the concrete. Embarrassed by eir inattention, ey glanced upward to stare directly into the face of the mysterious woman. Ey blinked sheepishly.

"My apologies," ey muttered, trying to regain some dignity. "Sometimes people start a bit early…"

"A bit?" The woman had a deceptively silky voice for someone who looked murderous.

"That fool could have torn both of our outfits, though yours is a little less of a loss…"

The woman pulled em upright, and Katia felt heat flood eir face. Were eir clothes really that bad? Ey chewed on eir inner cheek and dodged responding to the wardrobe critique, instead commenting, "Have you been to one of these before?"

"Enough times I suppose," the woman replied evasively, sliding her hands free of Katia. Katia quirked an eyebrow.

"I don't normally come to these things," Katia explained. "I'm Katia, by the way, and you should call me Kat. What should I call you?"

"Severus," Severus replied. "And I can tell. I've been assured that the invitees all know of magic, in which case may I…?" She gestured at Katia's figure. Immediately comprehending, Katia blushed and shook eir head furiously. "I'm fine, thanks. I'd rather wear a bad decision of my own than decisions others made for me." Ey bit eir lip and stared at Severus, whose only comment to the remark was, "Poetic." Katia rolled eir eyes and gave a mock bow in good humor. Severus smirked and curtsied outrageously. Then her attention caught onto the colored band on Katia's wrist, and she realized Katia was an alternate, someone whose gender was neither male nor female, nor an androgynous or neuter gender.

Clearing eir throat, and noticing the direction of her stare, Katia surprised Severus by saying casually, "Anywho, I actually caught a glance of you at the door and had to speak with you-I must say that your choice of lipstick is quite bold but very well executed, especially with the rest of your ensemble."

Severus wasn't quite sure what to say. The stranger that the drunkard had knocked into her had just complimented her outfit and makeup as casually as if talking to anyone else and not her. And actually looked sincere while doing so. Severus sneered uncertainly because no one had ever done that. A prolonged and somewhat uncomfortable pause passed, with Severus finally settling on, "Oh really?"

Katia nodded confidently. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," Severus replied honestly.

"You must not know very polite people, then," Katia muttered, frowning in disapproval.

Severus found this incredibly ironic and could only imagine the horrified looks of the dainty ladies in Narcissa's circle as they were accused of lacking etiquette. But, ironically, with all their etiquette training and tutoring on how to be "proper", no one bothered to teach them _real_ manners…

"Oh, hey, you found her!" A pretty black woman interrupted Severus' musing. She came to stand beside Katia, slid an arm around Katia's waist, and thrust her hand forward toward Severus. "My name is Rory, short for Aurora. I'm from House Sinistra, and I'm Katia's girlfriend. Did ey already pester you about your look tonight? I swear, eir sense of fashion is _terrible."_ Aurora was a tall, black witch with long, curly hair. A lump of amethyst shaped like an African violet hung from her neck, and a headband of tiny violets held back her thick, luscious hair. Katia was a shorter, more petite figure, with tan skin somewhere between copper and olive, telling of eir mixed heritage. A crescent moon pendant with a trail of stars nestled in its belly hung from eir neck, with runes on the other side, denoting eir devotion to eir Goddex.

Relieved not to have to ask awkward questions about someone's pronouns that would undoubtedly make her seem like a prick since she was unsure of how to do it without coming across as disrespectful or impolite, Severus took note of how Aurora referred to Katia. Not missing a beat, she said, "Yes, ey did. I told em I could give em a makeover but ey turned me down."

The witch and wix both brightened at noticing her immediately pick up on Katia's pronouns. Smiling, both magicals shared a look and seemed to decide something together before turning back to her. "How should we speak of you?" Katia asked gently, "I want to refer to you with the same dignity with which you have shown me."

"I am female," Severus replied with no hesitation, adding a little tensely, hoping they would understand, "though _some_ may not see if that way." She knew that it was a touchy issue for some, and didn't know if these two were safe to confide in. "And you?" She jerked her head at Aurora, who nodded.

"I am as well," she told her. She smiled warmly at her. "We are not like _some_ people." She put emphasis in the same place and lightly laid a reassuring hand on Severus's' shoulder. "Here you will not be judged. Everyone is like us, queer in some way. I am pansexual, and Katia is a bisexual Alternate, attracted to other alternates and female people."

Severus blinked a few times rapidly, staring at the petite people in front of her. Her shoulders loosened a little and the tension she felt faded. "Some of the Pureblood Court now do not look on those like us as kindly. Are you sure no one here will report back to someone who sees us less favorably-" Severus noticed something peculiar cross Katia's face, but ey hid it well.

"Not everyone on the Court thinks that way," Katia interrupted softly. "Especially now with the _current situation_ with which it's faced."

Severus wanted to ask what the "current situation" was, but at that moment Katia, who had been looking over her shoulder just a moment before, grabbed her hand and started dragging her toward what she realized was a tiny, short man with his hair neatly groomed into a ponytail situated at the nape of his neck. He wore impeccable wizard's dress robes, and spoke to a taller, darker man, also in dress robes, whose long dark hair was also neatly combed back and held in place with a black cloth headband. "Jazz, Fab!" Katia yelled over the noise of the room.

Sooner than she realized she would, she found herself standing between Katia and Aurora and near the two men, a couple of yards away. The men started to turn toward the three, and Severus felt the blood drain all the way from the roots of her hairline, seemingly to her feet, through the floor, and beyond. One of the men had a very familiar crest on the right breast of his robe. Severus felt herself go rigid, and Katia tugged on her arm impatiently. Ey turned to Severus impatiently, one eyebrow raised, but Severus offered no verbal explanation. Instead, she, as gently as she could, pulled her arm free from Katia's grip, and, plastering a polite smile onto her face, excused herself in a mumble, ducked her head and tried to walk calmly away. Immediately she could hear Katia and Aurora calling out to her, and cringing, she paused, if only so they would stop drawing attention to her and spreading her name around. There couldn't possibly be _that many_ Severus's around matching her descriptions. She faced them, not able to hide her annoyance. They seemed sweet, but she had just met the two, who had completely disregarded her comfort.

"I would appreciate it," she said once her companions were close enough to be in hearing range, "if you didn't introduce me to many people. I am trying to keep somewhat of a low profile and remain discreet." She dropped her voice despite the competing noise and said softly, "My survival depends on it. You are going to get me killed, you fools!"

Katia looked positively aghast, while Aurora frowned over her shorter companion's head. Katia knew, then, that if Severus startled this easily, ey would not be able to tell the alluring woman eir true, full identity. Ey lightly touched Aurora's pain with the tips of eir fingers, looking over eir shoulder at her, into her eyes. Then she turned to Severus and said, "I am deeply sorry, Severus. I just assumed you would want to meet the hosts. They're lovely people and they would not purposefully betray you."

"Regardless of what they intended," Severus snarled, "one slip of the tongue to mention I have been here and my life could have very well been over."

"And why is that?" Aurora asked suspiciously. She was less hesitant to offer her sympathy. Severus sounded as if she were in some kind of trouble.

"That is none of your business," Severus snapped. She whirled and again began storming away. Katia bit eir lip and followed. Aurora sighed behind her and remarked, "I don't know why you're bothering. We don't really know her-"

"She's scared, Rory. She probably isn't out and this is just going to push her further into the closet! I mean she finally felt safe and I just-I'm an idiot!" Katia ran ahead, catching up to Severus only once they were out on the street. Severus, as if sensing em, sped up, and Katia, afraid she would Apparate away, darted forward and threw emself the last couple of yards at Severus' back.

They landed with a loud _'oomph'_ and a thump, Severus falling forward and hitting her nose painfully and Katia landing in a heap on her back.

"You're crushing my spine you fucker!" Severus growled. Katia quickly scrambled up onto eir hands and knees and rolled off of her, unable to hold in the small chuckle that escaped eir lips. "Fucker?" Ey inquired with a touch of humor in eir voice. Ey massaged the knee ey had banged on the sidewalk and crouched staring at Severus, a hand extended. Severus glared and huffily stood on her own. "I can help myself, thank you," she muttered darkly, fixing her injured nose with a wave of her wand.

"Shall I get a do-over, then?" Katia asked her softly. "One where I don't forcibly out you?"

Severus continued to stare at em blackly, gaze frosty. Katia wilted a little but nodded. "I guess I don't deserve it, do I?" Ey hung eir head, then gazed into Severus' eyes. Something was different, something had changed. Severus became strangely captivated, clearly seeing Katia's eyes for the first time. Eir brown eyes glistened wetly with earnestness, but not tears, and the inviting coffee pool they offered made Severus not want to look away. Magnetized, Severus, despite her usual wit, could only nod dumbly, even when Aurora walked up and cleared her throat, tapping her foot impatiently. It broke her trance, but she quickly fell into it again when she looked into Aurora's hazel eyes. This time, too, she felt transfixed, drawn in as if she wanted those warm oases to swallow her whole. Not realizing that she had risen, or that Katia had followed suit, she had to take a moment to finally pull away and collect herself. Katia and Aurora shared yet another look, waiting a moment until Severus regained her composure.

"Should we maybe go back to the party for a while?"

Severus wasn't sure she could risk it, but she felt a little daring, and so walked back in with them.

* * *

A couple of hours later, after dancing, lounging amongst silk cushions, sipping on apple martinis and chatting, the three once more exited, and while Severus would never fully lose herself in a party, she did enjoy being able to feel alive and womanly instead of barely getting by in her depressing life. Katia chattered happily on one arm and Aurora smiled, talk and dark, from the other one, laughing and offering input every once in a while but letting Katia carry on for the most part. Severus could feel them glancing at each other repeatedly as they strolled along the wharf together. The water lapped gently at the shore and city lights shown in the distance.

"So do you live near here?" Katia asked curiously. Severus scoffed. "As if I would tell you."

"Why not?" Aurora asked.

"Because that is how fools are murdered," Severus muttered. The other two fell silent and Severus wondered, if she were not lonely and afraid of dying at any given moment, if she would be talking to them at all. In that moment she felt like the most desperate, the most pathetic, the weakest and most pitiful creature to ever crawl across the face of the earth. More mortifying than her doubt in herself, she wondered if Aurora and Katia were somehow playing a cruel joke on her, or if they felt sorry for her. She knew they thought her ugly, even if not doing it unkindly. Instead of voicing those insecurities, she over-analyzed Katia and Aurora's facial features as covertly as she could.

Suddenly Aurora jerked free from her and ran to the very edge of the wharf, seeming as if she would fall into the water below. " _Mi amor_ ," she called to Katia, "come look at the starlight reflected on the water, _mira como la toca la espuma del mar!"_ Severus felt like an outsider looking in just then, listening to Aurora about at Katia.

"She's an astronomer," Katia explained weakly, then called out, "Is it okay if Severus comes too?" Surprised, Severus looked at em to see ey had an affectionate, familiar look directed at Aurora.

"Of course! The sea doesn't care how many people look at her!"

Katia rolled eir eyes and gently tugged Severus along until they stood beside Aurora. Aurora grabbed Katia's hand and held it, and Katia, who saw how uncomfortable Severus appeared, grabbed her hand as well. They stood stargazing until, to their surprise, dawn arrived and the sun had started to rise. Finally, Katia wordlessly made a duplicate of the bracelet on eir arm and enchanted it, then handed it to Severus. "Owl us some time, would you," ey said. Severus hesitantly accepted it, but then quickly slipped it into her pocket. She would consider it. Katia grinned and got on eir tiptoes to plant a kiss on each of Severus' cheeks. "My mother would be disappointed if I didn't properly bid another lady goodbye," ey explained innocently, eyes glinting playfully. Severus blushed and refrained from commenting. Aurora, too, kissed her once on each cheek, and then the two walked a few paces away as if to Apparate. Just before they did, Katia signaled another guide over to help Severus to safety. When Severus looked back to where ey had been, ey were gone.


End file.
